Friday, April 25, 2008

In Memory of GC

I just got the call from MB that G has passed away. Very sad! Very sad! I'll miss him. It's odd that I must mention that he was ornery, disagreeable, cranky and sometimes downright mean. I've know him since I was 16. He was my best friends husband. He was also my husband's best friend. They spoke on the phone every single day for years. Sometimes they would even speak 2 or 3 times a day. Honey knew more about him than even MB knew. G could share with Honey the things that scared him, or the traumas of being in the Vietnam war. He could safely complain about his pain and the idea of dieing sooner than later. He felt safe with my D and was able to open up with him. They were good friends. I'm so grateful that Honey went to the hospital with me today. Even though G wasn't conscious, D got to hold him, speak to him (hoping he could maybe hear him) and pray for him.

My Honey doesn't cry often, but today he couldn't hold it in, or maybe he didn't want to. Off and on all day, his emotions have gotten the best of him. Just now we shared a moment hugging and crying together. I thought he went to bed, but I can hear him in the bedroom right now sobbing mournfully and praying. Simply crying out loud from grief. I don't want to go in there because I know him and he needs to talk to God right now in private. I know he needs to cry and grieve. I myself cried hard all the way home today, then promptly took a pill and went to bed.

Our day started out going to the neurologist for my spinning...dizzy spells, vertigo, what ever you want to call it. Three different Doctors in nine days. No one knows what causes it nor do they know how to get rid of it. So, as long as I don't move my head or body, I'm fine. I have a CT Scan scheduled for next week.

After the Dr. appointment we drove over to MB & G's house as we planned yesterday. No one was home. I looked in every room and no one, including G, who was almost completely paralyzed from his stroke, was home. There was a huge amount of black stuff on G's bed. I mean a lot of it. I honestly didn't know how or what to think about that so I pushed it out of my mind. Honey didn't see it. I immediately called MB and she explained that when she woke up and saw the black stuff, she determined it was coming from his nose and mouth and immediately called 911. A fire truck, an ambulance, and four squad cars came within minutes. After, what can only be described as an interrogation of MB and her brother, D, did they finally take G to Alvarado. Then transferred him to Kaiser to the comfort ward.

By the time Honey and I got to the hospital, G was not conscious and he was struggling with breathing. We tried to wake him, but he was definitely in a coma. When MB asked the doctor, "How long?" the Doctor told us HOURS! G was gurgling everywhere in his body, which is a very distinct sound. Some refer to this sound as the Death Rattle. He was immediately put on a Morphine Drip and he never did regain conscious. He died approximately 8:00 p.m. on Friday, April 25, 2008, at the age of 58, from complications from advance diabetes and at least 2 severe strokes. He may have had a 3rd last night, but there was no point in doing tests

The weeks after his second stroke, he went to a convalescent home for physical therapy. He did not progress and in fact was uncooperative and absolutely hated it there, thereby make the nurses lives hellacious. He begged MB to let him come home and when the Dr. said there was nothing more they could do, he went home. MB had prepared a nice bedroom for him, including a hospital bed, a spiffy wheel chair, and a harness lift. Turns out MB and D bit off more than they were prepared for. G was simply in too much pain and nothing one could do for him helped, including a ton of meds. None of them were getting any sleep because he demanded to be move, or rubbed, or given a drink of water, or you name it. It was constant and required 24/7 attendance to his needs.

It's God's time for him. He was so tortured in his heart and soul. His entire body was in excruciating pain and he was unable to sleep. The ton of meds. seemed to have no effect on his pain and muscle spasms. Nothing was working.

When we were at the hospital, Honey, MB, her Mom and Brother and myself stood around his bed and prayed for Peace for him. We prayed that God would take him soon and peacefully. And that is exactly what happened.

MB kept telling me what a good day they had yesterday. He wasn't struggling as much as usual and they were able to talk about things. He seemed comfortable to an extent. Last night he wanted to converse, he was in good spirits and he appeared have his best night in ages in-so-far as sleep. He seemed to be adjusting to his meds. and MB was very encouraged until she checked on him this morning and discovered the huge amount of black guck.

I'm afraid I may be rambling, but I must.

He spoke to Honey last night. He always asks Honey about me, but last night he told Honey to tell me that he loves me. For me that was little gift from God. We were like fighting siblings together. He was very witty and we could laugh, play and have fun, but boy could we push each other's buttons. To be totally honest, there were times when I just simply didn't like him because of his meanness to MB. But, I've always thought of him as family and I've always loved him. He's Uncle G after all.

I am very sad, because he's gone. I have never known an interesting character like him and most likely never will. He was one of the most unique individuals in my life and I honestly feel blessed to have had him in my life. There will never be another like him.

Thank you God for helping D with the words to save G from and eternity of hell. Thank you for giving him the opportunity to talk to G and to let him know what he had to do to be saved. Thank you for giving us the peace of knowing that he is meeting Butchy, his beloved dog, at the gates of Heaven. Thank you God for your Grace. Thank you for taking him Home. I know his pain is gone. His torment is gone. Thank you for hearing our prayers. Thank you for allowing us to share in his life. Thank you for taking him gently and peacefully. We know it happens in your time and thank you for allowing us the privilege of his presence in our lives. We know you have important work for him now. Thank you Lord, for his unique friendship and love. In Jesus name. Amen

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